Sunday, March 29, 2009

An attempt to rap

draft 1

shut up bitch, just because i'm polite
means not that i can't fuck you up in daylight
them laughing, don't mean you're too smart
you're the alpha-female in a gang full of old farts

shut up bitch, just because i'm polite
i'm takin' your shit cause i am too nice
it's not my party, no, it's not my scene
i wouldn't wanna dirty someone else's clean
day, right?

shut up bitch, you're talkin' shit
just cause i'm complacent and this is my third hit
you don't seem to make sense, you don't speak in words,
your mouth unleashes unflushable turds
(and the face is a target for potty training birds)
word?

shut up bitch, you think you're too slick
like jelly coated (pause) not donuts but dick
wait right there, the records need some scratching
(one line scratching)
your so-called claws won't work against my hatchet
in my cuckoo nest, i killed nurse ratchet...

shut up bitch, just because i'm like that
i'm self deprecatory, i know you won't know that
so i got you a dictionary, you can better at combat
of wuh-rd artillery, unlike the pregnant wombat
that you are... period, you missed that.

shut up bitch, cause i've got the mic now,
it's a phallic symbol of my masculine powerhouse
no, i wouldn't rape you even if you spread your legs
i'd practice my aiming with a crate of rotten eggs

shut up bitch, respect the last stanza,
of this cowardly rhyming extravaganza
i could take you down but i had to fight it
but you couldn't stop cause you had to shyte it
all!

[ps: 13 year old me wrote this...]

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